Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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