Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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