the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize