I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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