I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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