Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
