it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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