my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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