I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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