community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i will never coherently bang her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
