i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
