So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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