This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
