is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize