She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
