If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
