A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hippo gnu deer
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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