Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
