but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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