So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
