I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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