it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Holy sore nipples Batman
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
