The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize