Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
