I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
