I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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