well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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