i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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