so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
