That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
