Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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