she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
