Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
