benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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