Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
