im drinking this country out of the recession.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
