If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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