If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
