this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
