This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
