Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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