why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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