i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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