i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
