he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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