jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
