I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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