so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
being pregnant is like rehab
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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