that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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