Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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