I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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