this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
