omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
