Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
