Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
