if you like me you must not know who I am
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize