well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
