I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
