I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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