And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
