New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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