My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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