i jhust puked up my retainher.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
