this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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