Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
