You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
